SPLINTER: feeling this is like to fall awake

hah. see what i mean? this blog is on its deathbed already. a stillborn, practically.

well, this next set of junk is going to be from one of the most frantically clausterphobic times of my short dinky little life. words cannot express the feeling i had of being trapped in my body. it was (and still sometimes is) a terrifying experience. i mean, what can you do? you can't climb out and take a cigarette break. you're stuck. this is you. this is your body. deal with it.

regardless, sometimes it's just a little tough to swallow.

2003-2004:



this particular one would probably be the absolute most emotionally assraping drawing i have ever done. looking at it again is difficult sometimes because it so accurately documents a certain atrocious something that i can't put into words:

D. - all of the above

entry three and i'm already bored of pretending to know what i'm talking about. i'll stop pretending, i guess. i'm sure nobody would object to that.

instead, i'll say one very important thing...

fggbgeeeeeeeeeeeeggggjjjkmkm/, ;.................................////////////////'''
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''33333333333333333333333333

haha. this cat has the best timing ever. forget whatever i was planning on saying.

anyway, random illustration of the day. this thing i started drawing in class 8 months ago and never finished. we are all grateful for that.

better ingredients. better pete zuh.

some relics from the distant past.



when i look at the first image in the previous entry, i am reminded of this picture i drew a long time ago. same style. no variation in skill over two years. :(

however, when i look at things i had done around or a little before the same time frame, i notice that the image above is kind of ahead of its time, i guess. there is more dimension than usual. i tend to draw things very flatly and generally depth-impaired.

par example:


there's something freeing about that mostly flat kind of art, though. you can add detail much more easily and it feels cleaner, more controlled. to me, it's more aesthetically serving to take in an entire image and all of its details without losing your way among the attempts on realism. if you're the type to insert plenty of symbolism that you'd like identified (like me! oh shucks.), then flat is not so bad afterall.

but that's what makes artwork interesting. you don't HAVE to follow the rules of space. realistic is boring. go for distorted, overly-detailed, and generally overwhelming. overwhelming is always a good bet.

there are times to ACT and there are times to read a book- right now is neither of those times.

to begin with, i have a huge box of just scrap paper that i've doodled on over the years. i happen to have a few still on my hard drive from ...psh...a lot are from two and three years ago when i was fifteen. i don't think i've improved an inch since then, but in retrospect i am pretty impressed with my abilities AS A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD. maybe not so much as a seventeen-almost-eighteen year-old. one reason i decided to do this was to give myself incentive to start doodling more and possibly improve.






i am very familiar with horse anatomy and it is generally easier to experiment with different styles using familiar subjects. in other words, you may see me draw horses a lot. i don't particularly like the dumb bastards, but they have enthralling contour lines that can be bent wildly while still being recognizably a horse. these are all pretty recent - within the past 6 months. just examples of my different approaches to drawing the same sexy boring animal.

ESCAPE FROM LIMBO: cure for useless blog finally discovered, losers everywhere grateful, soul of america dead

i am typing this with my left hand as Nameless Two, the new kitten, slumbers on my arm.

meanwhile, i fear my crimped circulation will soon deteriorate into a bad case of gangrene. i have to say, while i'm up here and the mic is still on, that i really liked having a functioning upper torso limb on my right side. goodbye, hand. and thanks for all the laughs.

since that is out of the way, i'll get to the point. i want to attempt using this blog as a kind of illustrative journal. sort of. the doc gives it less than a week to live, but this little blog has high hopes. high apple pie in the sky hopes. and who am i to dash them?

i'm not jumping the bandwagon. i'm traveling in its wake. late bloomer.